Teaching Kids to Hate

I rather dislike the word hate. Yes, I use it but not usually in reference to another person. 


I got into a debate yesterday about whether or not kids are taught to to hate or if its just in built in them. I believe that in most cases it is taught to them by their parents. The debate stemmed from a person claiming that those who choose to raise their kids in less than ideal circumstances are asking for their kids to be bullied by other kids. It was mostly in reference to kids who have same-sex parents. 


I really do believe that this particular brand of hate and bullying does come from the parents at home before the kids even reach school age. Kids generally don't care about how many Mummy or Daddy's another kid had, they tend to like or dislike the other kids based on their own personal likes and dislikes. From what I've seen that usually involves TV shows or certain Barbie dolls.


There will always be bullys at schools. They bullys will always pick on someone, and yes in some cases it will be about sexual orientation of another kids parents. But where does he bully learn this hate and dislike?? At five all Jasmine knows is that babys grow in Mummy's tummy and are then born. In order for her to pick on another kids who may have, lets say two mums, I and/or Rodger would have to teach her that all kids should only have one Mum and one Dad. Then we would have to teach her that anything else is wrong. Which, for clarification neither of us do think that at all. 


As she gets to primary school next year she may learn these things from older kids at school. However, who would be encouraging this thinking? I know the school won't be as they have a very strict anti-bullying policy. It would again fall to us, the parents to reinforce this thinking. Or we could teach her that all families are different, some have two mums or two dads or whatever. 


The sexual orientation of a person should have no bearing on how well they parent or how much they love their kids. 


The best thing we can do as parents in order to stop bullying happening is to teach our kids to accept everyone for who they are regardless of sexual orientation, race, gender, eye colour, hair colour, size ect and to teach them that bullying is wrong.

Technology rocks!

I have a new way of posting! Sort of. Let me explain. As an early birthday present I got
a tablet. An Asus one. It is awesome and I love it. I can play games on it, I can surf the
net and I can download and read the paper on it. Mostly I do use it as an e-reader though.
Tonight I also remembered it has office software on it. Which is what I am using now. I
can now get my thoughts down whever I am. Once done all I have to do is email the file
to myself, copy and paste it, tidy it up and voila, a blog post. I love technology. Typing
on it will take me a while to be as fast as I am on the computer but I'm getting there.


I really love technology and so do my girls. When we just had our phones the girls would
play on them. Now they can also play on the tablets. Not so much at home but when we
are out it is great to have them in case the girls get bored and disruptive. It happens, they
are just little kid.


About a week ago there was an article in the paper about a pizza place in Balwyn that
wants to ban tablets and phones. The owner claims he dislikes seeing kids using them
at the table as meal time is family time. I agree to an extent. Restuarants can be slow.
Hungry kids can be very disruptive to other patrons. Letting your kid play with a phone
or tab for a few minutes while they wait for their meal is hardly taking away quality
family time. As long as they are put away when the meal arrives.


Not long after we got the tabs we took the girls out to dinner. We took them somewhere
family friendly. While waiting for the meal they were happy to colour in with the
provided paper and crayons. They then ate. We did have a bit of a wait between main
and dessert. By this stage the girls had finished the colouring in and were starting to get
bored. Now, we could have left them to jump on the furniture, crawl around on the floor
and disrupt others. Lucy was also trying to eat scraps off the floor. Can you say yuck???
So we got the tabs out. Both girls then happily sat and played on them quietly until
dessert came. Yep, it totally took away from family time. I am, of course, being sarcastic.
Out of a meal that latest 90 minutes the girls had the tabs out for maybe 10 minutes tops.
I, personally cannot see an issue with that. Not only that but where does a resturant owner
get off telling parents how to parent. Guess he wants a restuarant full of misbehaving
bored children who will drive away the rest of his very well off clientele.

Lucy is TWO!

Lucy is now 2. She has been fora month now but she only just had her 2 year nurses
check up today. She now weighs 12kg spot on and is 84 cm long. She was a champ at her appointment. Was happy and performed for the nurse who was very happy with her. Like Jasmine, I think she is pretty amazing.


She has a huge personality for such a little person. She has two favourite toys. Duggie
is a cabbage patch doll dressed as a skunk. She named him Duggie all on her own. Very
clever if you ask me. Her other favourite doll is a Minnie Mouse doll that she got for her
birthday. When Minnie's hand is pushed she records for about 15 seconds then repeats
what she has heard. For her birthday Lucy also got her first bike. She can't peddle yet but is doing a good job of trying. It won't be long and she will be able to.


Her speech is also great. She says more words than I can count. She is able to
communicate her needs to us pretty well. She loves stories and repeats them after you.
She loves to sing as well. You can often catch her singing along with songs on the TV.
She especially loves The Wiggles and their songs.


She has shown some interest in toilet training but thus far has not yet actually done
anything in it. She does prefer to sit on the big toilet than on the potty though. That's
fine by us, it's one less step in the process. We are not pushing the issue right now. I'm
happy to wait until Jasmine is in school full time before really getting into it. It will be
nice though to not have to change nappies anymore. My years of wiping someone elses
bottom are coming to an end and even though I am a little sad she's getting so big I am glad for this fact.

Just nap!

I have a two year old who thinks she is too old for a nap. She rubs her eyes, yawns and happily goes to bed at nap time. However, once she's in bed its like a switch is flipped and she's wide awake again and just wants to play. I can take all the toys out of her bed all I want but she'll just get out of bed and put them right back in there the second I leave the room.


She still needs this nap. She is a total grump without it. I need this nap. I'm a total grump without it. At least she isn't coming out of her room like she does some nights. Hours after going to bed some nights she'll get out of bed and open her bedroom door and want to play in the hallway. 


Jas didn't drop this nap for at least another 12 months and even then she was still having it 2-3 times a week. Its really only been the last twelve months that she hasn't had a nap unless she was sick. I could give in and not put Lucy down for her nap but then, as I said, she becomes a grump and her and Jas just argue about toys for hours. That does not make for a happy afternoon. She spent all morning on the go and playing. She was rubbing her eyes and yawning but still an hour after being put into bed, she's still awake. 


Some days though it will be 3pm before I stop hearing her playing. That is annoying to say the least as the latest I will let her sleep in the day is 4pm. She all she has is an hour which is usually not enough and she is a grump at being woken. 


I guess I'll just keep putting her down for that nap and hoping for the best. At the very least she is getting a little bit of a rest and so am I.

Lucy is Two and more

This post is coming. I just want to wait until her check up with the nurse in about 10 days. 


I've actually had lots of things to say about lots of different things of late, I just haven't had the motivation to sit and type them all out. I think I need to make a time each day, even if its only 10-15 minutes to do so. It might take me a day or two to get a whole post typed out but at least it will help me get back into the groove.

For the first time in three years

For the first time in three years I have allowed myself to feel. And it hurts so much. The flood gates have been opened and I have no way of stopping them. I almost wish I could. I wish I could stop this hurt and this pain. For three years I have bottled this up, only allowing small amounts out at a night in the middle of the night. Now the gates are fully opened and I can't stop them. 


Perhaps if I hadn't listened to certain people and allowed myself to feel. Perhaps if I hadn't have tried to be the person I was before. There is nothing worse than being told that you have changed as a person and that you need to change back to the person you were before you lost your child. Of course I've changed! I don't think I'm better or worse of a person. Just different. I will forever have a great big huge hole in my life. 


I can't keep this inside any longer but I hate feeling this hurt and this pain and not being able to stop it.

Jasmine Turns Five.

Jasmine is now five years old. And she is the most amazing five year old I have ever met. Honestly, I can't believe that she is five. has it really been five years since she was born. In fact its five years today since we bought her home for the first time. Only for one night though as she was so badly jaundiced that she needed to be readmitted for photo therapy.

She was so tiny and now she is so big. She is fully toilet trained both day and more recently night. She can read and write and knows some of her times tables. She is able to form good arguments for things that she wants to do. There are times when are arguments are so good that you just have to let her do whatever it is that she wants to do.

She had a MacDonalds birthday party with some of her Kinder friends on Sunday. She had so much fun. I loved it too. Nice and easy and so clean up. She got some great presents too. Quite a lot of art and craft stuff which is good as she loves doing all sorts of arts and crafts. She got some Barbie stuff too. Since she had kinder on her birthday and then is at work with us afterward, we decided to give her the presents from us on Sunday too. She got a Barbie house, some Barbie clothes and a Barbie plate, cup and bowl set. She loved all of it. She was so excited by it she hit herself in the head. She was just as excited by the giant lady bug pillow pet her grandparents got her. The first two nights she slept with it in the bed with her using it as a pillow. It took up 3/4 of the bed. Last night though she used her normal pillow and just cuddled the pillow pet.

Next weeks is yet another birthday, when Lucy turns 2.

Punishment

Specifically punishing a child. 


All kids are different and so the same approach that works with one child may not always work with the next. However, all kids understand consistency. I fully believe that once you find a punishment stick to it. Be consistent. Follow through.


There are always exceptions the rule. When taking individual kids into consideration you must also consider any medical issues the child may have that may hinder the punishment.


I'm going to be very specific in my example. This is a real example, the illness is real, the situation is real, the punishment is real. No names to protect the innocent.


The illness is question is known as Neurofibromatosis type 1. In short NF1 is a genetic disorder, often caused by a mutation of a gene on chromosome number 17. Cognitive and  learning disabilities can occur with NF1. The most common of the cognitive issues is with perception. Thus a person with NF1 may do things that may seem odd to the rest of us. They may, for example, when asked to clean up after dinner put not only the leftovers in the bin but also all cutlery and crockery used during the meal.


Now say you have a teenage girl who suffers from NF1. She often leaves plates in her bedroom, or places them in her washing hamper. It makes sense to her to place the dirty dishes there. After all, that's where dirty things go. For any normal teenager, this behaviour would be punished. Said teen would be made to clean up after themselves, and/or be grounded. Sounds fair. I have recently come across a woman who feels the best way to deal with this issue is not to aid her daughter in returning the dishes to the kitchen but to fine her a small amount of money per dish. She feels that her child plays on the NF1 and should pay for all mistakes she makes. Like replacing any dishes that may get thrown out.


To me, this just seems cruel. Surely there is a better way to deal with this. She even says that she has tried to punish these sort of things before and her daughter has gotten so depressed about failing to change her behaviour that she has ended up in counselling!


Yes, as parents it is our job to teach our children right from wrong, to punish bad behaviour and reward good, but its not always that black and white. There are many many shades of grey. I fully think that until this woman can see that and ask for help with her child she will continue to set her child up for more failure. Sadly, I know that this poor young lass has had it tough. Her mother has previously kicked her out of the house for drinking. I always thought that when you had kids you took the bad with the good.

Monthly Cross Stitch WIP

After 4 months (28 2011)

After 8 months (August 30 2011)

July 29 2008

We were finally able to bring our baby boy home.

Where is it??

My motivation that is. Have you seen it? When I first started doing this I was really into it. Posting many times a week. Now I'm lucky if I'm posting once a month. Perhaps the novelty wore off? I don't know. We have been rather busy though and that may have something to do with it. 


We are now half way through the year. Jasmine has two terms left of Kinder, then its off to school for her. She is very excited. She does a play group at the school every second week during the term and loves it. She has a grade 6 buddy who comes and does craft activities with her. She is totally in her element there. She loves to draw and colour and make things and so the play group is just perfect for her. I just know that her favourite class in school is going to be Art. Her drawings are getting amazing too. Lots of details. And she's good at drawing. I'm so bad at it that hers are better than mine. On top of developing her art skills she is also now able to read most kids books you hand her. She loves to read and will often read a book to Lucy. As if doing all of that isn't enough she has also decided that she is big enough to no longer wear a pull up over night. We have all lost count now of how many nights in a row she has stayed dry. She really is getting to be a big girl.


Lucy is growing up too. She is now saying so many words I've lost count. Its makes life easier as she is able to communicate a lot more what she wants without a tantrum. However, if she does throw a tantrum watch out. I must admit it is rather funny to watch. She gets so mad so goes all stiff and just just screams. She often gets so stiff she shakes with anger. You can't help but laugh at her doing it. She is such a great eater too. She will eat pretty much anything and loves meat. She devours pork and chicken like its going out of style. Its nice not to have to fight with her to get her to eat. She manages to burn it all off though. Her and Jasmine now play really well together for longer periods of time. Its lovely to watch. Lucy loves Jasmine's Barbies. She is still very much a little girl. She also loves dolls of all kinds and will spend hours kissing and cuddling them. She also loves being read to. Especially when Jasmine does it.


Its amazing to watch them grow and change every single day.

My Baby Girl

Born October 10 2006

Enrolled into Primary School June 1 2010

She got so big so fast.

It has been...

23 days since my last post. And I really can't think of anything I need or want to type right now. Looking for motivation. Ah well, at least it won't be 24 days since my last post.

Where were you when?

There are many many moments in history that will be remembered as a "where were you moment?" For many I was not even born yet. For some I was.


Where were you when the Berlin Wall came down?
Where were you when Mt St Helens erupted?
Where were you when Elvis died?
Where were you when when JFK was shot?
Where were you when when man first walked on the moon?
Where were you when when Kevin Rudd said sorry?
Where were you when when Princess Diana died?
Where were you when when Challenger exploded?
Where were you when the West Gate Bridge collapsed during its build?
Where were you when on December 31st 1999?
Where were you when the earthquake and Tsunami hit Japan?
Where were you when John Lennon was shot?
Where were you when the planes hit the towers?
Where were you when when you heard Bin Laden was dead???

Monthly Cross Stitch WIP

After 3 months (March 28 2011)

After 4 months (April 28 2011)

Term Two

Yesterday was the start of term two of the school year. We are now 1/4 of the way through the year. Its rather scary. Within the next two weeks we will be attending an open day for the primary school we are hoping to send Jasmine to next year. They even start taking enrolments this term for next year as well. I can't believe she is already old enough for us not only to be thinking about where she will be going but also old enough to enrol her! Later this year we will also do the application for Lucy for three year old Kinder. Where has the time gone?


I think Jasmine will just love school next year. She loves to learn and loves being around other kids her age and school will give her both of those things five days of the week. Some days I think she would have no trouble fitting in there this year!


It is going to be odd once she does go. Well, for a little while at least. I'm so used to having her home. I guess this year at least Kinder is for four hours at a time and that helps somewhat but that's only three days of the week and not five. 


It just seems so weird to me that she is almost five. I don't feel old enough to have an almost five year old most days. Of course there are days when I do, but who doesn't? 


All being well her BFF from Kinder last year will also be at the same school as her next year. As will most of the kids she is at Kinder with this year. That should really help her adjust better to the change than if she didn't know anyone there at all. I believe the school also run an orientation program in term four. I plan on finding out more about it and possibly sending her depending on what the times of it are. I don't want her missing Kinder to attend, and I doubt she would want that either. 


We are both hoping that this will be the only primary school she will got to. I changed schools are fair amount growing up and hated it. It was always hard to adjust to new people. Maybe that was just me though. Jasmine is far more of a social bunny than I. Either way, I still think its better for her not to chop and change schools if possible. It should be the same for High School. With any luck she will make friends at this age that she will go to primary and high school with and have for life.

Why Complain?

About a public holiday when you don't work and thus it doesn't change your day to day living???


ANZAC Day was yesterday. Yesterday was the day after Easter Sunday and is normally the public holiday for Easter. Instead it was a public holiday for Anzac Day. Make sense thus far? Today is also a public holiday. For Easter. A little confusing but it has left us with a five day weekend. 


A forum post yesterday sparked this. Someone claims that Anzac Day this year was a joke as we had a five day weekend. She could not seem to understand that yesterday was the holiday for Anzac Day and today is Easter Tuesday. We (those who work, not her dole bludging butt) apparently forced the government into the extra public holiday because we felt we deserved it. This means that Anzac Day is nothing more than a joke and an excuse for a day off work.


WTF?? For starters, no one I know complained about Easter and Anzac Day coinciding. Secondly, Anzac Day has never been and never will be a joke! I'm sure all those who arose early yesterday to attend dawn services were sitting around laughing about it. *insert eye roll here*


Every year we if Anzac Day falls on a weekend we get a public holiday for it the following Monday. Every year the day after Easter is a public holiday. This year Anzac Day was a Monday, so instead of only having on public holiday for the two, we still had two public holidays. One for Anzac Day, and one for Easter.


Sadly, this was not the only dumbass comment I heard yesterday about Anzac Day. Some moron on the radio rang in and ranted over the annual football match between Collingwood and Essendon. This also apparently makes it all a big joke. This idiot then went on to say that he doesn't care about Anzac Day anyway and has no true feelings towards this country. Why bother complaining about something you don't care about? If it doesn't affect you in anyway why do you care? Perhaps these two people just need to take a moment and be thankful that they have the change to say and do what they want in this country. Afterall that's what Anzac Day is for us to do. To give thanks to those who fought for us to live freely.

I am very behind

In updating here. Its been hard with Jasmine on holidays. My normal routine has been thrown off. Kinder starts back up on Wednesday and so I should hopefully be back to posting at least twice a week. Well at least that's the goal but as we all know I suck at keeping goals.


One goal I have managed to keep up with for almost two months now is eating well. The results are now starting to speak for themselves. Pants that did not fit in any way on March 1 now fit. Some are even a little bit loose on me. That's about 1.5 dress sizes in under two months. I would like to keep that up for a little while yet but I know that it will slow down. Then again now that the weather is cooler my walks on my days off the treadmill are now longer. Almost twice as long and that has to be helping somewhat. At least I hope it is. I should be able to wear my post-Jasmine jeans this winter and I can't wait. That is my first goal. To be able to wear them. Once I have reached that goal I will make another one. Just one at a time. Nice and slowly.


We had a pretty good Easter yesterday. Lucy certainly loves chocolate. She had a small amount of her bunny from the Easter Bunny but decided she wanted more. So what did she do? She went and managed to reach one of the eggs she got from my mum, opened it and ate it. Total chocolate lover.


Jasmine is now spending two nights with my mother-in-law. She stayed last night and will stay again tonight. I think it might be the longest she has ever stayed away from us her whole life. Both her and Lucy will be staying for two nights next month when Rodger and I go away for our wedding anniversary.


I have an idea for what I'm going to post about tomorrow and so I might go and make some notes about it before I forget and sit down with a blank mind. Yes, I know, that is somewhat normal for me. haha!

Poor little Sad Sickie

Poor Jasmine has been sick all school holiday's thus far. It is now Tuesday of week two and she is finally starting to feel a little better.


She started the holidays with a cold. Simple enough. It didn't really effect her too much. She was a little more tired than normal but other than a runny nose she was fine. She was supposed to spend last weekend with her Nanna. Friday morning she decided to get up at 4:30am. Even though I sent her back to bed, I don't think she went back to sleep. We put her crankiness on Friday down to the fact she was up so early that morning.


So off she went to Nanna's on Friday afternoon. Rodger, Lucy and I went to do the grocery shopping then came home and relaxed. We had dinner and put Lucy to bed, then sat down to watch some TV. At about 8:30pm the phone rang. It was Nanna. Jasmine had thrown up and needed clean pjs. Rodger took some over. Apparently as soon as he got there Jasmine decided that she was coming home. Good thing too as her temperature had started to rise. Some Nurofen bought it back down.


Saturday morning rolls around. Jasmine is now running very hot. So as much as she wanted to, we said she could not go back to Nanna's. All she did all day on Saturday was lay on the couch and watch TV. Her temperature was up and down all day depending on how long it had been since she had last had Nurofen. 


A trip to the doctor on Saturday afternoon confirmed it was a virus. While a virus is good as it runs its course fast, part of me would have preferred a bacterial infection as that can be treated with antibiotics and Jasmine would have started to feel better sooner. With a virus its just up to her body and the virus.


Sunday she was feeling a little better. Her temp stayed down between Nurofen doses and she had more energy. Yesterday (Monday) I was feeling not so hot though. I was all achy and my legs felt like they were made of lead. Blegh! I'm feeling better today but still not 100%. Jasmine had a better day. Although she was very tired by the end of it. She went to bed at about 6:30pm and was asleep 10 minutes later. She slept till about7:30am this morning. She's still tired today. I'm hoping that its just the virus leaving her body and that by tomorrow she will be 100% back to her normal happy full of energy self. 


I'm hoping that by tomorrow I will be feeling full of energy again too. Being sick is no fun no matter what your age is. I would make a really bad hypochondriac. I hate being sick. I don't see where the fun in it is. I don't like being lazy and doing nothing all day. I like to have the energy to be able to do things. And I hate having to remember to take medication. I'm really bad about it and often forget. I sure I hope I never get anything that requires daily medication to stay alive. I'd be a goner....

Only 32 years?

On Monday a man was sentenced to a non-parole period of 32 years.


What was his crime?


He threw his young daughter off a bridge in revenge against her mother.


I would like to know how 32 years is enough? He robbed this child of about 80 years of life. Why should he get to be free after only 32? As far as I know he has never shown remorse for his crime. He was deemed sane by the court. Yes, he is already 37 years old but why should his age stop his from getting a life sentence. The mother of the child sure has a life sentence. For the rest of her life she must go on knowing that her child died at the hands of her father. A man that every little girl should be able to trust with their life. 


I listened to the judge hand down the sentence. It was broadcast live on the radio. His crime was described in chilling detail. At the time he had another one of his children in the car with him. This child begged his father to go back and get his sister. That little boy will forever have those memories. Not only will he have to grow up without his sister, he will have the memory of his father throwing that little girl off the bridge. No child should ever have to witness such an atrocious act.


I honestly don't care how good of a man he may have been before that day. It does not and should not excuse him for what he did! 


Sadly the justice system is full of cases like this. Far too often we hear light sentences being given because the offender "had a bad childhood" like its some kind of excuse or reason to commit a crime. What about the victims of these crimes? They will feel the impact of the crime for the rest of their lives. They are innocent and deserve justice to be served. I fully believe that all that should be looked at is the crime and the impact the crime has had on the victims and on the larger community. Of course as with everything there would be exceptions to this rule, otherwise it would not be a fair justice system. Especially when it comes to determining the offenders mental capacity at the time of the crime.


Obviously someone who throws their child from a bridge has some sort of mental issues, and these were considered and thrown out by the jury so should not have been taken into consideration come sentencing. 


There will never be real peace for this family though, no matter how long he serves in prison. He condemned them to a life sentence the moment he threw his child away.